Bigorexia: The Adonis Complex

I simply can't feign the consuming fear wondering if any of my male friends are suffering from bigorexia. I am one who still stand and breathe up to this day constantly reminding myself to religiously cling on to that safe sound principle of striking some form of balance in the quest for achievements that we rat racers are seemingly gunning for in life. I have to admit, it was never easy in accomplishing this righteous yet far fetch sense of ambition considering all that alpha male ego outburst and not to mention the vanity syndrome that some of us might have inherently self developed over the years. Like it or not, the world of health and fitness has definitely entered a whole new realm that might just prove itself to be a cause of concern to some, if not many.

While the fashion industry and media often come under fire for perpetuating unrealistic stereotypes of beauty, the majority of cases involve women. However, men face similar pressure to live up to physical ideals and while muscle dysmorphia or bigorexia is on the rise, its health implications are largely ignored.

According to the North American Journal of Psychology, exposure to male models with muscular physiques leads to body dissatisfaction in men. While exercising is an essential element of a healthy lifestyle, people with muscle dysmorphia are overtly obsessed with being buff, resulting in extreme exercising and string eating regimes.

Symptoms include constant self-examination, unrealistic comparisons, distress at missing workouts and in extreme cases, consumption of steroids, all of which create psychological and physical stress similar to anorexia nervosa. Hence, bigorexia is also known as reverse anorexia and often results from low self-esteem or depression arising from distorted body image.

The Journal of Athletic Training states there is no specific treatment for muscle dysmorphia, but antidepressants and cognitive behavioural therapy can help shift mindsets and create more realistic goals.

Although bigorexia is believed to affect hundreds of thousands of men, it is associated with control, meaning that people rarely seek treatment as it means admitting defeat. The biggest hurdle is encouraging people to acknowledge bigorexia before it snowballs into an all-consuming and potentially life-threatening condition.

Are You Emotionally Intelligent?

Emotions are words we use to identify and describe how we are feeling at any given moment. These experiences are so visceral that we often deem something to be good or bad, right or wrong, by our positive or negative emotional response.

We can distinguish between emotions and the feelings they invoke, but physical symptoms can be confusing and require us to tap into our emotional intelligence. For instance, fear and excitement produce similar symptoms including increased heart rates and clammy hands – emotional intelligence helps us gauge the experience more accurately.

Furthermore, specific emotions manifest more regularly in certain parts of our body. Fear may manifest itself as a sick feeling in the pit of the stomach, whilst anger is often felt in the tightened muscles of the arms and legs. Often, the interpretation depends on whether or not we like the adrenaline rush.

Once we identify a feeling, we create an energetic response in the emotional body. This is what happens when we describe ourselves as falling in love. Whether the event is an intense emotional connection or a mind-blowing physical one, the chemical reaction is similar. Once the event is over, we might analyse the situation and decide that we are not in love after all. But in that very moment, our cells got the message that we were.

Many things trigger an emotional, loving response. Our mood is determined not so much by the event itself, but our perception of the event (i.e. our thoughts and reactions to a situation). You can talk yourself into being in love, just as you can talk yourself out of being in love by perceiving your emotions differently. Theoretically, we can rationalize a crush or get over a lost love by changing how we perceive our emotions.

However, being emotionally intelligent does not mean fooling ourselves or denying our true feelings. In order to believe a perception, we must be convinced of its validity. Be a master of your emotions, not a slave. Once we learn how to read and translate our own body language and emotions, we become more sensitive to the needs and reactions of others. Now, that’s what we call emotional intelligence.

Realistically Thwarped

Home buyers, be realistic
HDB cannot build flats only in mature estates, or only on high floors
By Jessica Cheam

Although new HDB flats are 'going to be even nicer over time... certain expectations, we cannot meet', Mr Mah said. -- ST PHOTO: ALPHONSUS CHERN

THE Housing Board (HDB) cannot meet all expectations of home buyers even though the standard of housing has increased over the years, said National Development Minister Mah Bow Tan.

Addressing Parliament on Monday, he said some buyers seemed to have unrealistic expectations.

Mr Mah, who is 61, recalled his childhood days living in Kim Keat Avenue.

His then three-room HDB flat 'was like a palace' - even though there was just one toilet and bathroom in a flat with eight people.

'It was basic but it was like a palace to us because I had just come from a one-room (flat) with 10 people in Chinatown. So I think that reflects our expectations at that time and how things have changed,' he said.

Although new HDB flats are 'going to be even nicer over time... certain expectations, we cannot meet', he said.
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The Government seriously do not understand and does not see things from the citizen's perspective. For one very major factor is, flats in the 50-60s cost only few thousands. 70-80s flat cost about $90k slightly below 100k region. 90-currently flat cost about $300k-650k and your annual pay is still in the range of $40k - 90k +/-

Mr Mah if I ask you if you were to buy a multi million property using your own money, will you not want to select the property thoroughly before signing your cheque? Most citizen stay in their matrimony house slogging like dog to just pay off their loans. So what is wrong to be picky?

If today we are buying HDB at $50-100k range, of course as a buyer I do not need to think and be choosy cos we can simply just switch and sell off upon 5 years. And get another property.

The reason why HDB (for that matter Mr Mah) can make such sweeping statement that the home buyers are choosy is because we do not have alternative or choices given the limited earning and income bracket. Tell me who do not wish to have a private apartment? Or landed property for that matter.

The PAP has painted itself in a corner. It no longer can find a valid answer or justification so he's going back 50 years scrounging for answers based on sentiments.

Singaporeans are well informed now. They are beginning to think for themselves. Gone are the days when they swallowed the word of a PAP grassroots leader and needed their help as they were illiterate.

I have been watching HDB answers for many years and the same bullshit answer surfaces and its becoming downright ridiculous.

Just be Yourself

When it comes to being in a relationship, people often say, “just be yourself”. As long as you are comfortable with whom you are, this is good advice. However, we often feel that if we are single, we must be lacking something, and automatically initiate a vicious cycle of self-doubt. After all, if we were enough, we would be in the ideal relationship and not have a string of perceived “failed” liaisons behind us.

How can we change this perception? By being more than yourself! Because you are much more then you realise. You are made up of your body, thoughts, emotions, and past experiences. Yet, you are far more than the sum of these parts and you have a choice about how you view them.

Embrace Your Body

If we all looked the same, life would be dull. What we love about a person are the quirks that make them unique, whether it’s the way they crinkle their nose or how their eyes sparkle with mischief. Likewise, some people like long legs, whilst others prefer voluptuous figures. Remember, variety is the spice of life.

Think Positive

If you think positively about yourself, so will others. If you see yourself as part of a divine force deserving of love and respect, that is what you will manifest in your life. You are the thinker of your thoughts.

Live and Love

The common excuse: “I’m scared of getting hurt.” We cannot truly love if we live in fear. Don’t view hurt as a measure of love; use laughter. When you think of love, don’t think of pain; think of joy. When we feel hurt, we understand love. Avoiding pain is avoiding life itself.

Accept the Past

You might have witnessed your parents’ relationship break down, had a string of difficult relationships or meant some awful people. Learn your lessons and move forward. Believe in the transformational power of love; it can heal everything, even your perception of the past.

By reframing your view of yourself and your experiences, you will see yourself as you are: an amazing, complex being, with the capacity to create and transform your world.

What Do I Really Want?

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself?

If there is a stage at which my life becomes truly adult, it must be when I had grasped the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox.

One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. I continue to live them out, making my life a worthy expression of leaning into the light. I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

Delicious ambiguity.

The truth is that my finest moments are most likely to occur when I am feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by my discomfort, that I am likely to step out of my ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

Relationship Insurance

A friend of mine was about to go on a third date with a man she really liked when called to cancel explaining. He explained that he had lost his job, wasn’t feeling great, and was going to spend the evening with his cousin. Although it was only their third date, my friend wished she was the person he wanted to talk to about his problems. She wanted him to confide in her so she would feel needed – a classic example of relationship insurance.

Being a partner’s confidante is one of the key ways women seek to connect with men. The logic is simple – if he needs me, he won’t leave me. In female friendships, women bond by talking and sharing their feelings. We all know how stubborn men can be when it comes to asking for directions and similarly, they tend to seek advice only when they are seriously lost.

To offer unsolicited advice to a man can be interpreted as an insinuation of his inability to cope with his problems. In relationships, women often push men to communicate more openly in order to feel connected to their partners. However, men often retreat into their thoughts to search for solutions and if they feel pressured to talk, this can lead to further communication breakdown.

The greatest insurance a woman can have in a relationship is whether their partner calls and how often he wants to meet. Beyond that, the best insurance is self assurance. Trust that your partner will come to you when he is ready and in the meantime, Saint Augustine knew what he was talking about when he said, “Patience is the companion of wisdom.”

The Epiphany of Ms. Leopard Prints

She strikes again, but this time it's a different chord - for me.
I had an epiphany last night. This post is not about siding with her or of any sort, but rather it's another point of view i have amongst the common and judgemental "Boomz" and "Shingz" insults.

No doubt that she has confessed to be slightly "ill" and tried to expect us to swallow this piece of news as with regards to some of her interviews, but there could be something we may have overlooked. We may be underestimating her i find.

This epiphany that struck me was as good as any if i might add, it hit me when i was recalling what do all miss universe, miss worlds and miss singapore have in common or rather say in common.

If you guessed "WORLD PEACE", then you're right. All beauty pageants has that particular question in the semi or final stages of the competition, "What is your goal?" or "What do you wish to do when you have attained this title?" Many girls would know the politically correct answer but do they know of the practical solution? I think Ris Low does.Now I need a bit of patience from you guys as i explain why i have such a theory. I'm not sure if many of you have watched this anime: Gundam 00, but it has made sense both virtually and realistically.

The main plot of the story is that a small grouup of elites, Celestial beings, have taken upon themselves the task to acheive world peace by interferring in any armed intervention between the 3 main organisations (the Europeans, the Americans and the Asians). This purpose of intervening is so that these 3 organisations would be united against 1 enemy, the Celestial beings, instead of fighting against each other or expanding each other's military strength till the others grow suspicious which sparks attacking each other. Now the Celestial beings have a few trump cards at hand, but they make up of a small team of elites in different fields, such as the strategist analyst, engineering RMO, mobile suits pilots, etc.

Take this in comparison to reality where a fine example would be North Korea, America and China. Back in 2009, North Korea would have proved to be of welfare concern as they were exploring nuclear reactors and manufacturing nuclear warheads. America being concerned and wary has tried for six party talks and whatnots to get North Korea to disarm. Similarly, China has also tried helping America to convince NK to disarm. Evidently both countries are united in settling this issue at hand. However a year later, after this NK issue has piped down, America and China now are at slight loggerheads due to financial and trade tension.

So how does this come back to Ris Low? Simple. Her actions has made us ridicule and tease her. She knows she has a target on her back, but yet she does not budge. I wouldn't call her a common enemy amonst us singaporeans, but rather a nuisiance that has helped the society in a way of establishing a common topic or POV. The thing is we need people like her to go against a society to have them be united and not owing only to mostly themselves. I'm not asking her to piss off everyone in the world to hate her, but from her actions so far i see no one being hurt or insulted. (I apologise to ROzz from 98.7FM if she has chance upon this). Instead, it's the opposite. No doubt she has wasted the time of reporters and a few kilobytes of space regarding news about her molestation and whatnots, but she has made life of singapore more interesting and more reflective.

Suming up, I'd say she's not as dumb as we think she is. She says she wants world peace and has a rough idea of how to go about it.
And...(i can't believe i'm saying this) we need a few more people like her, not too many, but a few.


Sidenote:

I've join an fb group which states "I like Ris Low, she makes me look smart". Having second thoughts about pulling out....

In addition, if i place doubt in my post, I can say either she's very smart, or it's pure coincidences and her true character.

Time Check

Yea, that happens every night...mostly.

Who's The Smarty-Pants Here?

Here I want to give an analogy about what is smart?

Smart is something not shown but it is an inner wisdom that utilize the knowledge for his/her own life. The more smart a person, he will be more wise, as of he will indirectly guide others to higher level as him/her. In Indonesia there is a word "Tong kosong nyaring bunyinya" which means that a drum will be noisy when knocked, if the drum is empty, the more smart a person the more quiet they are which is a fully filled drum.

Let's see an analogy. When we see a customer short changed by the cashier (when paying) in a counter and the customer just walked off, what we instantly think off will be 'the customer is unaware of the short changed', we WILL NOT think that 'the customer is stupid who do not know how to do math' (substraction or addition).

It's very funny that when a customer is short changed and unaware, then we go approach them and laugh them stupid, and give them a preaching about the knowledge regarding addition and substraction. Acting like that will show that we are the one who is really stupid.

That's why it is common sense that we will directly think that a customer who is short changed, is because that they are unaware. Then what is the Smart here?

The smart is a tool that we utilize to make our life better, for example, we will not want a cashier to short changed us, we will surely want a cashier to changed us as how much we ought to receive.

Another type of smartness is the level that utilize the smart in a improper way. For example above, a cashier that notice a certain customer who is unaware of short changed might remember their face and the second time the customer pay, they will deliberately short changed the customer to make profit for themselves. Then at here, the cashier who is smart, is utilizing their smartness (is there such a term?) to gain profit from it.

Or at the very least the cashier will tell the customer that he/she is short changed, and of course he/she will not give a preaching regarding substraction and addition to the customer too. Because the ability to accept something is different among people, and some how some people need to experience before they change their mindset towards life. That's why such a smart can't be taught or told, as it will only cause bickering and useless debates.

The person who is really smart will utilize the knowledge to gain profit from it, instead of using the knowledge to prove others are wrong, this theory comes because proving someone wrong will gain nothing at all, and what they got is only pride and superficial power which can't gain anything.

In Singapore, especially I have noticed that the trend of 'letting' is becoming more popular, people will let people suffer and people will let people do what they want (like when you see in Singapore Seen section of stomp, people will just let young kids to make out at public, most comment will support them, etc). The reason is simple, because by mocking others, we will not gain anything, as long as they are not disturbing our life, income, then there is no problem. This is the principle of modern life.

Higher ups are known to teach lower educated person with this kind of mindset these days. As long as their position is unchanged, their income is unchanged, they can just do any superficial things to gain public support without having to touch anything regarding society morale value which will gain nothing in return. Because at the end, you bear the fruit of your own action.

One of the other reason why China labour are hated, is because of this mindset. China people has suffered from a long period of economy problems, and they are wiser regarding economy and life. They will not want to interrupt with government because of historical reason and culture brought from generation to generation. Since they have scoped what is good and bad for them, they will just tend to gain profit from any 'lobang' they saw and won't bother about telling you where is your mistakes, and especially when you are not someone who can be taught. But with this mindset, they are more competitive, and easily accept by global competitive life.

It's time for Singaporean to understand this, to utilize all their knowledge so that it can bring you higher up, with positive perspective of course. Which in the course you must also be able to help others to bring them up too, then a harmony is produced.

Too Lost

Tonight I sit and stare out my window while tears run down my cheeks and my mind races back to a time when you were mine; I feel your touch as you hold me close, then I see that look in your eyes, how can a love so right and strong be gone? Too many questions with no answers come to mind. And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

People survive wars. People survive disasters. People survive pain. People survive sadness. People survive hurt. People survive people. So why wouldn't I, one of the people, survive this? And so I sit and stare out the window; I wonder why. I hang my head in sorrow, tonight I'm going to cry.